Shingeki no Kyojin - Minimalist Posters
I knew who she was but I didn’t know if she still remembered me. It has been years since I saw her. We were just kids the last time. Now we’re meeting again. Catching up with a friend who I’ve just met. I was nervous. I don’t know why. Last time she ignored me.
I waited with her friend at the train station meeting point. My reminiscing distracted me from noticing she had arrived. Her friend introduced me. “Yeah I remember you!” she replied with a big smile. She was still as beautiful as I remembered but it was the first time I noticed her teeth were uneven. The slightest imperfection to achieve complete perfection.
She said I put everything before her and she’s always second. I can’t deny the neglect. I try not to but I always failed. She said I’m selfish. I can’t deny that fact. She said I’m no longer sweet to her. I can’t help but agree. She said I’m annoying. I can’t help but annoy her more. She said she loves me. I can’t help but love her too.
We danced around the room to our favourite songs. Made breakfast for each other on Monday mornings. Drive four hours up the coast to have lunch because we had nothing to do. Hang out in bed and watch everything on TV. Read books we recommended to one another. Wake up at 4.30AM to watch the sunrise and later agree it wasn’t worth it.
Then I made you cry. Broke the promises that I made. Laughed at you when you got braces. I should have been there for those times you needed me by your side. I was too busy finding my way in this world. But now I’ve found it we might be too late.
But I still promise you Paris. I still promise you a city as beautiful as you can imagine. And I still promise you I will love you till death do us part.
I have not written a word for nearly 5 months. I have lost all inspiration. The Internet has killed absolutely everything I once thought was worth something. I troll on the net looking for bullshit to write about. But nothing seems to be worthy anymore. It’s all bullshit. It’s all a blur.
There is only so much weed and naked girls my mind can take before it crack the shits. That shit is toxic. It wasn’t long before I didn’t write anymore. And I lost it all – drugs, girls, money, etc. So I turned to the one thing any self-loathing fucker would: alcohol. I’m six Asahi beers in as I’m writing this. Liquor courage works.
The last time I purposely drank to do something was Valentines Day. I stupidly bought a rose for a girl and sent it to her work. I haven’t bought a flower for a girl in over seven years. I felt like a douche-bag immediately after clicking the purchase button. Then I felt like a love-fucked-arsehole when I saw the receipt. Alcohol makes you do some stupid shit. But it ended well, although when her receptionist told her she got flowers her response was: ‘Are you sure?’
Drinking isn’t the best solution. But fuck it, I’m writing again. Cigarette in my mouth, drink by my side, and Death Cab For Cutie in the background. My parents have raised a chain smoking, alcoholic with shitty music taste.
Happy 2012 tumblr peeps! Hope everyone wakes up with a stranger and a hangover. Get your Grey Goose on!
I’ve sat here for the last 3 hours trying to pin point my exact favourite moment with you. I’m ashamed to say that I cannot think of any moments and to be honest, I can only remember snippets of the things we’ve done.
I remember meeting you for the first time. You smiled at me but all I could think about was how white your teeth were. Then I progressed to ignore you for the rest of the night and pretended that I wasn’t interested while Facebook stalking you – “We have 4 mutual friends. That’s enough to add her as a friend after meeting her tonight. Maybe that’s a bit weird. We only just met. I don’t want her to think I’m one of those ‘I add everyone I meet’ types. Maybe I’ll just talk to her for a little bit so it’s not that weird when I add her.”
The first time we went out alone as friends I was nervous. I forgot what we did. I just remember you telling me you love [insert something he/she loves] and how you one day hope to travel to [insert some where he/she wants to travel to]. Everything else is a blur.
I recall the time our hands touched. We were walking with the whole group to a club or a bar. I don’t remember. I purposely walked next to you and our hands met. It was a private sort of happiness. A happiness I still have to this today. It’s been [insert days since you’ve met, if you can’t remember just guess because he/she won’t remember either] and I still see colours when I close my eyes. You brighten up everything in my life.
I don’t remember where we go or the things we do not because I’m forgetful but because it doesn’t matter. You are the person I want to be with. Brazil, France, New York, L.A., the pub down the road, it’s all the same. We can be anywhere in the world. All I want is to be is with you.